Held Here

It's the summer of my adult heart,
Who survived Winter's song, cold and long,
And Springs of growing pains.

My soul is wider now,
Having slept curled in blacks and whites,
Safe beneath their weight.
In the end it was the grey that brought the light,
And lines drawn so dark and deep between the Universe and me -
They fell away.

I saw her then.
Sitting across from me, swirls of energy,
While soft light sparked in eyes and hearts,
And background chatter played over
Jazz notes and drink orders.

I sat so still.
She looked searchingly at me,
Trying to see what she already knew.
I hold her in my mind there;
Under transparent masks, unprepared
For what she'd find in our spaces combined.
She didn't dance outside for long,
Her soul so brave, determined, strong...

I observed awhile, didn't trust
Myself enough to move an inch.
Patience.

She called me out so slowly,
Not knowing it was when she didn't try.
The way her head fell back, the thoughtful sigh,
The scent in her breath of the air inside her
Whispered invitations to explore.

Her lips...
My fingertips felt so alive
When I watched the soft curves in that slow smile,
And heard my hands plead leave to reach out,
Let them touch that mouth,
Swim in the sense like my eyes did the sight.

But I won't hold them tight for long,
I know what it is she speaks of now.
Instinct longing to be unthinking.
I'll let it take the rest of me,
Let go the hold on a sense of safety I,
no longer have to seek.

I'll learn what it means to set myself free.